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Notes to accompany "Discipleship - Emotional Health , Week 3 "

Breaking the power of the past

Our past affects our ability to love God and others.

Glittering Images

“Standing naked before an icy wind.”

That’s how it feels for you and me when we begin to look at our hearts.
We’ve all descended from the family tree of Adam & Eve.

This manifests in different ways:

  • Controlling
  • Fixing
  • Fear
  • Withdrawing
  • Ignoring
  • Denying
  • Pacifying
  • Anxiety
  • Frustration
  • Resentment
  • Blaming

Plot a GENOGRAM

A family tree that looks at information about family members and their relationships over two to three generations.

Describe your father and mother and a few characteristics about their relationship

  • How did they resolve conflict?
  • Express anger?
  • Understand roles?
  • Parent their children?
  • Show affection?

Try and do the same with grandparents.

The result? The life-transforming power of Jesus has not touched large areas of your life because of what you’ve inherited.

Biblical examples

Exodus 20: 5-6

King David and his family

2 Samuel 11 – 1 Kings 14

* The first theme relates to having a heart for God.  But around the age of 40 or so David compromises his relationship with God by committing adultery with Bathsheba and murdering her husband. There are consequences.                      

2 Samuel 12: 10

His character appears slowly to erode. His son Solomon starts well but he’s not fully devoted to God. 1 Kings 11: 4-6 By the third generation the decline in spirituality hits rock bottom with Rehoboam.

* The second theme of sexual sin is seen.  David collects wives.  His oldest son Amnon rapes his half-sister Tamar. Solomon furthers this by accumulating 700 wives and 300 concubines. Rehoboam has 18 wives and 60 concubines.

All of this is rebellion against God’s Command.

Deuteronomy 17: 17

* The third theme is family division.  David has conflict with his Brothers.  One of his sons, Absalom, murders his brother Amnon.  Absalom grows bitter in exile and seeks to kill his own father.  Civil war breaks out and 20,000 die, including Absalom. Then the family disintegrates. The once-united 12 tribes split into a Northern and Southern Kingdom.

These events should warn us to take a deep hard look inside.               1 Corinthians 10: 6

Unless we grasp the power of the past on who we are now, we will repeat those problems in relationships inside and outside the church.

Abraham and his family

Genesis 12-37

  • Pattern of lying in four generations
  • Favouritism in three generations
  • Sibling rivalry in three generations

How our family has shaped us

  • Describe each family member with three adjectives
  • Describe your parents relationship
  • How was conflict handled in the family?
  • How were roles worked out?
  • How would your family describe you?
  • Were there any family secrets?
  • What was considered success & failure in the family?
  • How was money handled?
  • What kind of addictions existed in the family?
  • Were there shocks in the past or present such as sudden death, prolonged illness, miscarriages, bankruptcy, divorce?
  • How was spirituality expressed?

Discern major influences in your life

* Divorce        * Unemployment       * Bullying

* Abuse          * Adoption                * School

* Addiction      * Betrayal                * Trauma

Becoming a Christian

As Christians we are adopted into the family of Jesus and we become brothers and sisters to a world wide family.

Galatians 3: 28

We’re birthed into a new family tree.  But to be adopted into God’s family  does not erase the past.

Wounded healers

Discipleship must include honest reflection on the positive and negative impact on my natural family, as well as other major influences in my life.  This is hard work but it is vital if we want to be free.

 

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